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You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.

Tuesday, January 2nd, 2007

Subject:Thirsty Man
Posted by:kmdhow.
Time:8:30 am.
Mood: bored.

Christmas is officially over. A man sold his step-daughters pet to buy beer. Maybe he figured she had enough new things she wouldn't miss something old.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200612/s1819558.htm

Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, December 5th, 2006

Posted by:asteres.
Time:10:21 am.
Ronald MacDonald Charged in Wendy's Theft
http://cbs4boston.com/topstories/local_story_332084152.html
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, December 3rd, 2006

Subject:Go, Go, Power Rangers!
Posted by:asteres.
Time:4:03 pm.
4-Year-Old in Power Rangers Garb Foils Robbery
http://www.woai.com/news/weird_news/story.aspx?content_id=81D5CD26-B89D-4A07-B964-E85B5FC19532
Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:The flying gerbil
Posted by:kmdhow.
Time:2:53 pm.
Mood: amused.
I don't know if this is true or not but it says it is taken from the LA Times. But it is hilarious.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, October 5th, 2006

Subject:Tasteless But True
Posted by:daemonnoire.
Time:7:21 am.
Police hunt farting dissident:  When they said that the next terrorist big weapon was going to be poisonous gas, I don't think this is what they meant.

Crash victim saved by breast implants:  "I'll take 'Signs that your breast implants are too big' for $200, Alex."

Women's skin ages faster than men's-study:  And all that crap women put on their faces to meet the societal ideal of beauty has NOTHING to do with it.

Breast milk 'does not boost IQ':  This is one of those conclusions that I think more studies should come to.  "People who have a glass of wine each day/drink tea/do yoga/sacrifice to the chicken god are healthier because they're smarter and take better care of themselves."
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, August 17th, 2006

Subject:Tasteless But True
Posted by:daemonnoire.
Time:7:10 am.
Family attacked by rampant rodent:  Squirrels don't like to be pointed at, lady.

School District Bans Cleavage In Classroom:  This just strikes me as a sexual harrassment lawsuit waiting to happen.  "OMG, this teacher was staring at my daughter's chest!"

Drunk man bets to cut off his penis for 2,000 USD and wins the bet:  Because it wouldn't be Tasteless But True without a guy cutting something important off.  I wonder how much the plastic surgery cost to put it back on.

Evangelicals urge museum to hide man's ancestors:  "We the undersigned request that you hide all evidence of evolution, because it's ruining our efforts to promote Intelligent Design."

5 Minnesota Zoo meerkats killed after girl bittenThe meerkats... were ordered killed by the state Department of Health because the girl's parents didn't want her to have to undergo a series of rabies shots  If this were my kid, you can damn well believe she'd be getting the rabies shots.  "This is what you get when you reach over fences to pet wild animals."  Then maybe she wouldn't turn into one of those people who climbs into the lion's den to pet the kitty.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, August 6th, 2006

Subject:Rabies Shots Urged For Girl Scouts
Posted by:dracphelan.
Time:9:43 am.
Rabies Shots Urged for 950 Girl Scouts - LEESBURG, Va. (AP) -- Officials are recommending that nearly 1,000 Girl Scouts who may have been exposed to rabies at a Northern Virginia camp consider getting protective vaccinations.
Now, if we can get leash laws for the little buggers too, we will be protected from these disease carrying menaces.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, August 4th, 2006

Subject:Tasteless But True
Posted by:daemonnoire.
Time:7:19 am.
Deckchair trapped testicles:  Because stories about endangered and mutilated genitalia are why y'all really read these things.

Dog destroys £40,000 Elvis teddy:  Breaking News:  Hounddog ain't no friend of Mabel.  Mabel says 'I just wanted to be his teddybear!"

Shredded euro confetti scandalizes town:  They're just pissed because those things take so long to tape back together.

Dead thief proven not so dead after allOnly after a doctor tried to insert a tube into the burglar's trachea to reanimate him, did he suddenly open his eyes and begin speaking.  This reminds me of some of shadow73's ER stories.  Especially the ones about inserting catheters into "comatose" patients.

Surgeons find knife, nails in stomachThe case was initially reported by a concerned relative who saw him swallowing the objects  Now this poor kid will never get his own magic show!

Ohio Man Claims Right To Have Sex With BoysA suburban Cleveland man... told a judge Wednesday that his apartment was a religious sanctuary where smoking marijuana and having sex with children are sacred rituals protected by civil rights laws.  That's funny.  My apartment is a religious sanctuary where I sacrifice pedophiles to my dark goddess.  This guy should drop by sometime and we can compare religions.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, August 3rd, 2006

Posted by:dracphelan.
Time:2:56 pm.
Woman calls cops on husband not fulfilling his'sexual obligations'. - FRANKFURT (Reuters) - Police in the German city of Aachen received an unusual call for help late Wednesday when a woman telephoned to complain her husband was not fulfilling his sexual obligations. (Cop to woman) I'm sorry ma'm, but that's not against the law. However, if you e-mail us your picture, we can see about finding volunteers to help you out.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:Tasteless But True
Posted by:daemonnoire.
Time:7:05 am.
Woman removed from flight after handbag protest:  See, this headline makes it sound as if the woman was standing up for some basic right.  In reality, she was just being a twit about her expensive handbag.

Mom tracks down toilet-tissue pranksters:  Someone's been making good use of her CSI addiction, that's for sure.

Waitress gets own ID when carding patron:  The gods really do have a sense of humor.  Now if only the people who stole my laptop years ago would bring it by for WebCT help.  Cause that would be awesome.

Captain pleads guilty to operating cruise ship drunk:  This guy needs to learn to wait until he's out to sea for his drunken binges.  Then at least he doesn't have to worry about crashing the ship into anything if he gets a little swervy.

Chuck Norris leads vote for Budapest bridge name:  "Chuck Norris is so badass, he built a whole bridge with nothing but some string and a brick."  Incidentally, I've tried visiting the page it lists to go vote, and it's utterly incomprehensible.  Even Babelfish has failed me.

Police nab man with diamonds in the roughAfter officers found equipment used by jewelers to measure diamonds in his car, they searched the man and found the booty in his briefs.  Where else would you expect to find the booty?
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, August 2nd, 2006

Posted by:daemonnoire.
Time:7:11 am.
Cop censured for moonlighting as a hookerWhile prostitution is legal in New Zealand and police are allowed to take approved second jobs, a top officer said sex work and police work don't mix.  Why not?  She'll definitely get the jump on her customers.

Are you a woman going solo? Try a blow-up man:  Bets on how long it takes someone to try this guy in the HOV lane?  Read the last quote in the article, it's worth it.

Inmate sends threats with his real name:  This is the sort of criminal who robs banks in his work uniform.  The one with "Billy Bob" in curly script on the pocket.

Australian town can't stomach recycled sewage water:  Given the finite amount of water on this planet, and the amount of time that people have been around, chances are good that the bottle of water you got at the supermarket was at some point in time used to flush someone's toilet.  It's all recycled.  Get over it.

BONUS LINKS:

Mel Gibson Arrested on Terrorism Charges:  Your spoof BBC article for today.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, July 14th, 2006

Subject:I just can't stop giggling...
Posted by:cultofisis.
Time:11:53 am.
The 911 Dating Service
Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:Tasteless But True
Posted by:daemonnoire.
Time:7:36 am.
Beer company chief faces drunken driving charge:  This could only be made funnier if he had gotten drunk off of Bud Light.

Vows of love to be stored in space:  Shooting your vows off into space.  It's like tattooing someone's name on your rear, only harder to remove.  What will the aliens think?

Australian charged in parking rage caseKenyon was "deeply sorry" for the incident.  "Your honor, I am deeply sorry that I lost my temper at a little old lady and was too much of a coward to push her while she was facing me."

"Wear nice pants" - police tell women drinkersfor all our sakes, please make sure you're wearing nice pants and that you've recently had a wax.  Seriously?  Only the British would tell the woman to both wear pants AND have a good wax.  Just in case the pants come off.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, June 16th, 2006

Subject:Oi
Posted by:heatherrae.
Time:4:23 pm.
Mood: indescribable.
Fired – For Love Without Marriage - The owners of a roller skating rink have fired an 18-year-old woman they called one of their "Top 10" employees because she moved in with her boyfriend, violating a company ethics policy that prohibits "live-in relationships of an intimate nature."

I'm glad I don't work there.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, June 15th, 2006

Subject:Tasteless But True
Posted by:daemonnoire.
Time:6:55 am.
Bosnia "Pyramid" Is Not Human-Made, U.K. Expert Says:  Aliens did it.

KFC Is Sued Over the Use of Trans Fats in Its Cooking:  OMG!!  Fried chicken isn't good for you?  LIES!!!  It's all been LIES!!!

US military pondered love not war:  The US military doesn't know how to handle American gays, what makes them think they'd do any better with enemy ones?

Man Murders Woman With Sausageman had given a patchy account of events, acknowledging that he may have "administered" a Bockwurst to the woman.  Here in America we call that "shoving it down her throat until she chokes."

BONUS LINKS:

The Extreme Diet Coke & Mentos Experiments:  For people with way too much time, money, and Diet Coke on the hands. And their heads, and their clothes, and their lawn....

The 86 Rules of Boozing68. If there is a line for drinks, get your goddamn drink and step the hell away from the bar.  Truer words have never been spoken.

This just in:

Folgers Has a New Commercial: Apparently, Folgers coffee allows you to better tolerate badly singing, badly dancing glowing Aryan A type personalities.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, June 7th, 2006

Subject:Tasteless But True
Posted by:daemonnoire.
Time:7:06 am.
Clerk says scanty attire was distraction:  Maybe if he hadn't been so busy looking down the girl's shirt, he wouldn't have gotten fined.

GOP buttons on their shirts and faith on their sleevesIt's great to be back in the holy land  Since when is San Antonio the Holy Land?

Thailand's odd yellow shirt shortage:  Apparently the idea of buying a white shirt and dying it themselves never occurred to these people.

'Ghost' helps acquit murder suspectA court spokesperson said the letters were accepted as evidence because the prosecution lawyers made no objection.  Probably because they figured no jury in the world would believe them.

Lioness in zoo kills man who invoked GodThe man shouted 'God will save me, if he exists'  God exists.  He just figured you were too stupid to live.

BONUS LINKS:

Satan Loves Fred PhelpsSatan loves it because I am winning more people to his kingdom. The more room in heaven for me, the better. It's a win-win situation.

The Brief Safe:  Unlike your standard "book safe," this is definitely one place you be sure burglars won't want to check "just in case."
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, June 1st, 2006

Subject:Tasteless But True
Posted by:daemonnoire.
Time:6:40 am.
Man severs penis to prove faithfulness:  Nothing says "I'm too much of a wack job to cheat on you" like a nice wack job.

Fla. man in women's bathing suit arrested:  "Is that a flare gun in your bikini or are you just happy to see me?"

Australian baby 'put in dryer':  What a moron.  Everyone knows you're supposed to line dry babies.

'Die Hard 4' in the works:  This franchise refuses to die!  /rimshot  Seriously though, the fourth will only be acceptable if it includes Jeremy Irons as Johan Gruber, the heretofore unmentioned evilier twin brother.  Hotness.

BONUS LINKS:

The Broken Laptop I Sold on eBay:  Reasons why you should never rip people off over eBay and then mail them the means with which to blackmail you.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, May 31st, 2006

Subject:Tasteless But True
Posted by:daemonnoire.
Time:6:48 am.
Batwoman hero returns as lesbian:  Because god forbid you take the more logical step of making Batman and Robin gay.

Student suspended for sharing caffeine gumProducts acting as a stimulant are prohibited  Does this include educational materials?

Pedophiles to launch political partyOther politicians only talk about us in a negative sense, as if we were criminals  News flash, genius.  You are criminals.

6-year-old Minn. boy brings pot to schoolThe father... hid the marijuana in the backpack, and left it in a bedroom closet.  Apparently, the thought that his son might NEED his back pack never occurred to him.

Gay music director let go by Kansas Catholic parish"You and I have discussed whether and under what circumstances you could remain as the parish Music Director... We were not able to reach an understanding."  We understand that you are an idiot.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, May 30th, 2006

Subject:Tasteless But True
Posted by:daemonnoire.
Time:6:15 am.
Groups seek to remove taboo on self-lovin':  Damnit, why didn't anyone tell me that May was national masturbation month?  Now I'm going to have to spend the next two days catching up!

Woman has a wee suggestion for storeA short time later, she came back and placed a plastic cup of yellow liquid near the store’s suggestion box  Eww.

Japan Sells Oxygen-To-Go:  Anime conventions would make a killing selling these outside of the free anime room.  "Uh, the guy next to me has been sitting there for three days straight.  Someone get me a can of oxygen."

Iraqis shot 'for wearing shorts':  "If we have to bake out here in these Allah be damned robes, then so do you!"

"Vampire" To Protest White Castle's Garlic Sandwich:  No one's forcing you to eat it, honey.  Though I'm sure some of the employees would be grateful if you did.

BONUS LINKS:

Faux Pas the cat and McGruff the Crime Dog talk about internet Safety:  Goofy, but terribly cute.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, May 26th, 2006

Subject:Tasteless But True
Posted by:daemonnoire.
Time:6:20 am.
Scientists Grow Artificial Penis in Lab:  "I'm going to pet him, and love him, and call him George."  At last, my every lesbian fantasy come true.

18,000 pounds of fireworks seized in N.Y.[The] truck... was tailgating a fuel tanker  Tailgating.  A Fuel Tanker.  That's a Darwin Award waiting to happen.

Judge rules sex offender is too short for prison:  He's a guy who raped a little kid.  In most prisons, it wouldn't matter how tall he was, he'd still have to kept in solitary to keep the other inmates from killing him.

Woman 'chomped' at officer's groin: courtHe said he had trouble gripping Ms Klaus because she was naked and wet and the pair ended up on the ground.  Someone, somewhere, is at this exact moment writing a different ending to this story and submitting it to a porno mag.

BONUS LINKS:

Star Trek blade seized:  This is a bonus link because I'm pretty sure it's a joke.  It's The Sun, so it has to be.  Otherwise....  No Steak For You!
Comments: Read 6 orAdd Your Own.

LiveJournal for Tasteless But True.

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You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.