Vows of love to be stored in space: Shooting your vows off into space. It's like tattooing someone's name on your rear, only harder to remove. What will the aliens think?
Australian charged in parking rage case: Kenyon was "deeply sorry" for the incident. "Your honor, I am deeply sorry that I lost my temper at a little old lady and was too much of a coward to push her while she was facing me."
"Wear nice pants" - police tell women drinkers: for all our sakes, please make sure you're wearing nice pants and that you've recently had a wax. Seriously? Only the British would tell the woman to both wear pants AND have a good wax. Just in case the pants come off.