Dog destroys £40,000 Elvis teddy: Breaking News: Hounddog ain't no friend of Mabel. Mabel says 'I just wanted to be his teddybear!"
Shredded euro confetti scandalizes town: They're just pissed because those things take so long to tape back together.
Dead thief proven not so dead after all: Only after a doctor tried to insert a tube into the burglar's trachea to reanimate him, did he suddenly open his eyes and begin speaking. This reminds me of some of shadow73's ER stories. Especially the ones about inserting catheters into "comatose" patients.
Surgeons find knife, nails in stomach: The case was initially reported by a concerned relative who saw him swallowing the objects Now this poor kid will never get his own magic show!
Ohio Man Claims Right To Have Sex With Boys: A suburban Cleveland man... told a judge Wednesday that his apartment was a religious sanctuary where smoking marijuana and having sex with children are sacred rituals protected by civil rights laws. That's funny. My apartment is a religious sanctuary where I sacrifice pedophiles to my dark goddess. This guy should drop by sometime and we can compare religions.